Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I can trust God...

At Sunday school today, each kid got a card to fill out. It says I can trust God... This is what Joey put in his card:
I can trust God...
Medical problem
Next year in school

I was surprised he put medical problem first. I had thought my energetic, playful and laid-back boy doesn't see his health as an issue. He did realize life is different now. If I were given this card, I would put exactly the same thing except that I would add "Joey's" in front of each of them.
On the way back home, I heard the song He Said in Joy FM, "I won't give you more than you can take..." I heard the same thing in church before and more now: "God will never give you more than you can handle."
When I first heard it, I have doubt. Hmmm... What about those who lost their loved ones in an accident? Now in the time of pain, I have more doubts. What about those parents who lost their children in the fight? And what about me?
So I looked into the Bible and read it's from 1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. I read the chapter again and again and realized the quote is never in the Bible.

Why I have doubts? Because everyday I am learning the opposite is true.
If God is only giving me what I can handle, I'll never have to find God.
If God is only giving me what I can handle, I will stay in my comfort zone forever.
If God is only giving me what I can handle, I amn't growing.
If God wants to show his presence in my life, he is going to give me more than I can handle.
God is ALWAYS giving us more than we can handle. That’s because we were never intended to handle it. 
But the good news is He doesn't give me more than God and I can handle! He is bigger than anything I can handle. He carries all my weigh. His plan is huge!

I pray I can have simple faith like Joey's. Faith is faith. It is that simple. Faith is not a system of rewards of challenges and payoffs. It is a lifelong journey of fighting distress and moving forward with hope. The Bible reminds me while Joey's disease does not magically disappear because we have become followers of Christ, but we are promised that in the sufferings we are not alone. God does allow me to suffer things I can not bear...alone. And I do not have to bear them alone because our family is surrounded by a community of love that comforts us in the time of hardship.

I still love the song He Said and my heart is filled with incredible love of God when I listen to it. Things will happen in life that will test my faith, but I remember God always loves me.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Joey finished first month of oral chemo pill and is now on two weeks of break. His face looks yellowish, which is to be expected. Another adult patient who is taking the same pill warned me that the hair would turn to white some day, even the eyebrows, just as his. That weird picture popped up in my head, but was gone quickly. Life is too busy to think too much ahead.
I feel a little bit relaxed thinking he is on two weeks off the toxic drug. In these two weeks, I can give him supplement that I won't worry too much about the interaction. 
All the tumors in Joey's body are in the lymphnodes. I kept thinking about if there is anything, either exercise, message or acupuncture, can help to make his lymphatic system healthy. I googled every day, hoping to find something. To my surprise, I found it! The best exercise for the lymph system is rebounding
"Lymph nodes are like holding stations that filter the lymph fluid. Every day we are bombarded with toxins in our environment and in our food which is why detoxification is such a critical process in your body. If the detox process is hindered, toxins will build up in your body eventually causing acidity and toxemia. These are the root causes of nearly all disease. One of the lesser talked about benefits of exercise is that it moves your lymphatic fluid, which promotes detoxification in your body. Rebounding creates an increased gravitational load and positively stresses every cell in your body. As a result, it strengthens your entire musculoskeletal system and it promotes lymphatic circulation by stimulating the millions of one-way valves in your lymphatic system."
Then I kept searching to see if this is just media hype. I read many cancer survival testimony and saw the word rebounding again and agian. I figured since so many natural survivors and health practitioners were doing rebounding, it worths a try.
We can't afford a rebounder, so I bought a trampoline from walmart. Joey loves it! He is always a jumper. Classmates call him jumping Joey.

I love to see him jump. The house is full of energy, because of Joey.